Baldur’s Gate 3 sank its hooks into me immediately. The opening cinematic is beautiful, with creative interpretations of classic fantasy tropes without straying from the established Dungeons & Dragons world it inhabits. The game runs phenomenally well, and I’m surprised by how well optimised it is – that’s an incredibly boring thing to notice about a game, but for all the beautiful graphics and interactable objects in the world, my PC has barely broken a sweat.
We’ve known for months how good the Baldur’s Gate 3 character creator would be, thanks largely to the game’s release in early access. Whether you want to create a realistic trans character, use one of the game’s prefabricated characters, or design the sexiest Tiefling your eyes have ever seen, you can. I opted for somewhere in the middle, creating a Drow Ranger who is as hot as she is dangerous, and she’s ready to use her wits or her rapier to get her way after escaping from the cult of Lolth in Menzoberranzan.
I spent a long time designing Lúthien (yes, of course I named her after a Lord of the Rings character). I created my perfect face with just the right mix of aggression and compassion. Some scars show her trials in escaping her Lolth-sworn roots. The right build and voice to suit her past, present, and potential future. I shifted her skin tone a little, and changed one of her eyes to a cool orangey pink to represent the fact she’s escaping Lolth’s dominion. The other remains red to show that she still struggles with that past. Yeah, a lot of Lúthien’s story involves her ex-cultist ways, but that’s just how I want it. Then I added a sick neck tatt of a Beholder just to make her a bit cooler and I lowkey want to get it IRL now.
All in all, I spent about an hour with the character creator, from designing Lúthien’s looks, to picking her stats to best compliment her lore. I’m sure many people spent a lot longer on this (only 0.1 percent of players have earned the Steam achievement for ‘safely’ landing the Nautiloid, although I’m sure some others worked out other ways to complete the first mission), but I felt happy with Lúthien. Her looks complement the backstory I made up for her, and her stats back this up further. Upon escaping the Mindflayers, I quickly outfitted her with appropriate weapons – a rapier and hand crossbow, which she’s proficient at using – and started recruiting some allies from the fallen ship.
A couple of fights, plenty of looting, and rescuing an annoying wizard from an interdimensional portal later, and I levelled up. Shortly after, I found a stupid hat. Naturally, I made Lúthien try it on, and immediately fell in love with how utterly silly it looked. It’s a kind of tricorn, with a stupidly tall crown. The brown leather fitted with Lúthien’s starting garb, but the height just makes her look so silly, like the Pharrell of Faerûn. It was absolutely not the right fit for her character, but I had to keep it.
After spending so long creating a character who looks true to the background I created for her, I ruined it all within an hour of playtime. Lúthien’s vibes had gone from impeccable to inappropriate, but the hat simply had to stay. The headwear looks like it should be worn by a cowboy Ki-Adi-Mundi in some parallel Star Wars universe, so how could I just leave it alone? Any semblance of roleplaying was gone, and I was back to being a player playing a game and equipping stupid items.
The hat gives no buffs at all. I don’t want my companions to wear it because I don’t care enough about them yet. Part of the silliness comes from the juxtaposition of that tall leather crown and how serious Lúthien is. A formidable warrior, a cult escapee, and a proprietor of the stupidest looking hat in the Western Heartlands. I’ve ruined her character, but I can’t help but chuckle every time I load up the game. That’s worth something, right?
I wonder whether I can incorporate the hat into her backstory somehow. Is it similar to the hat that her deceased mother had back in Menzoberranzan? Maybe it’s similar to the one worn by her torturous overlord back in the cult, and she’s wearing it to reclaim some agency? Maybe she thinks it will protect her from mind-meddling from her captors? Suddenly the hat feels a little less silly, but can I really retcon Lúthien’s story every time I find a silly piece of headgear? Baldur’s Gate 3 is a game that purportedly lets you do whatever you want, so I’m going to make my character wear a stupid hat. Howdy, Polma, I’m here to drink whiskey and remove your head from your shoulders. And I’m all out of whiskey.