I love nothing more than female characters who are gals being pals with no room for interpretation. They might flirt, kiss, confide in one another, or even fuck - but we know at the end of the day that our favourite characters are little more than rock solid besties.
Bandai Namco recently told fans that the sapphic bond found in Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury is ‘open to interpretation’ despite the entire series developing their romance. The same can be said for all the other lesbians corporations have dished out over the years. It’s time to break down some of our favourite gals being pals and how they’ll never, ever, ever be anything more than friends.
5 - Luz Noceda and Amity Blight
If you’re a purist like me, you watched The Owl House’s Taiwanese dub which correctly depicts the two young witches as good friends who simply want to go travelling together.
The tunnel of love and constant blushes between them in that episode aren’t about falling in love or struggling to confess. It’s more related to having to weigh up travel insurance options alongside the daunting eventuality of having to sleep in the same room together despite both of them being achingly straight.
Disney spent three whole seasons pushing this fruity agenda in spite of vocal fan protests. Besides, it’s obvious Luz and Amity totally don’t have a queer crush on one another, now please stop shoving it down our throats already. They’re magic gal pals and nothing more.
4 - Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy
We all know Harley Quinn is only having passionate sex with Poison Ivy so she can one day get back with the Joker - which totally isn’t a toxic relationship she has spent the entirety of her animated series learning to outgrow and recognise as the damaging aspect of her life it always was. Nope, she is going to abandon her same-sex lover in favour of Christian values.
I admire DC’s dedication to the bit though, with the studio even going as far as producing an entire Valentine’s Day special all about Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy’s romantic relationship.
It’s all a ruse, and the only thing here are two best friends confiding in one other.
3 - Catra and Adora
She-Ra And The Princesses of Power is a very straight show. Fans will know, especially with showrunner ND Stevenson being infamous for their very heteronormative work. Nimona is a recent example which isn’t queer-coded in the slightest. Nope. Nothing fruity about that film.
Catra and Adora grew up together in the Evil Horde, sharing a bunk together as the two girls totally didn’t unknowingly fall in love with each other before a magical sword gave Adora an ancient power and forced the duo into a years long conflict of bitter pining and resentment.
They kiss at the end. On the lips. But I promise it’s just a friendly, totally platonic situation.
2 - Princess Bubblegum and Marceline
Do you ever borrow a well-worn jumper from your bestie and immediately give it a big ol’ whiff to make sure their scent still lingers on the fabric? Me neither. I’m too gay for that kinda stuff.
Princess Bubblegum on the other hand, loves that shit. She turns up to concerts and leaves with t-shirts drenched in pheromones, and likely kept it in her closet without washing it purely to pine over an ex-girlfriend she had zero intentions of ever getting back with. Marceline also loves to write and sing angsty songs about Princess Bubblegum with obscene romantic connotations. I wish my bestie was tuned in enough with my feelings to do that sort of thing on the regular.
1 - Suletta Mercury and Miorine Rembran
Now we’ve come full circle to the besties of the hour. Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury’s opening episode concludes with Suletta Mercury winning a duel against Miorine Rembran’s controlling fiance. As the battle comes to a close, it is revealed that as a result our heroine will take the place of Miorine’s eventual romantic partner.
Fast-forward to the finale, and they’re wearing matching rings - not related to a wedding I assume - and lean on each other with the energy of an old married couple. Very straight, very platonic things that Bandai Namco is right to leave open for interpretation. Except it isn’t, and all these couples I’ve listed are explicitly queer whether you like it or not.
These gals are going to be more than pals for all eternity, and I’m absolutely here for it.