Everyone please calm down. By now you’ve all seen the official Wiglett plush available at the real Pokémon Center website. Go on. Start giggling. And, yes, it’s a long, cylindrical object with a bright pink head. But just because it resembles the genitals of a ghost that’s doing very well for itself doesn’t mean we need to make fun of it. This is a plush from a video game series meant to be put on display, likely behind a beaded curtain with a sign and an age requirement. Not everything has to be sexual, especially when I purchased this for myself the moment I saw it.
Is this who we are as gamers? Is this who we are as fans? No matter how much this Wiglett looks like Professor Oak on a date with Ash’s mom, we don’t need to become crass. And while the plush makes you think that Wiglett shouldn’t be a Water-type Pokémon, he should be Rock, that’s not an excuse to make fun of what’s ostensibly a children’s toy. I say “ostensibly” because, as I mentioned earlier, I added this item to my cart when seeing this listing and becoming obsessed with one number on there. Just one juicy, beautiful number.
That’s right, $24.99! Which is a pretty good deal for a Wiglett Poké Plush! I think! I’ve never looked up another plush Pokémon toy in my life, but I’m going to assume that $24.99 is pretty much in the middle. The fact that Wiglett’s body is ten and a quarter inches long has nothing to do with it and I shouldn’t even have to address that. Just because it’s so thick it could wear an Apple Watch did not enter into the equation. I’m just a 39-year-old man and this is a stuffed animal of my - and I can safely say everyone’s - favorite Pokémon, Wiglett. Yet our rush to judgment and jokes takes something joyful and taints it.
When we make crude jokes about video game merch that should call a doctor after four hours, we cheapen the experience and joy they bring to everyone - whether you’re an aspiring Pokémon Master or a lonely spouse who had to break it off with the FedEx guy. We should think more than “better wear a glove” when products like this go viral. We should measure the success of a toy from the joy it gives people, not from the base of the Wiglett. Also my order qualified for free shipping, so how could I not, right?
As I entered my personal information into the website to buy the plush of a “garden eel” with the ability to use “gooey,” I realized that it was my responsibility and the responsibility of all of us to resist a slide into immaturity. Video games are a valid, important art form that makes billions of dollars a year. That alone should make fans stand up like a big, old Wiglett. Sure, I probably shouldn’t spend the money while I’m on strike from my main job, but you know what they say: Spare the rod and spoil the child.
It may seem regressive to ask fans to not joke about products that would make Kratos say, “Oh, there it is,” but we need to get a grip. All of these jokes about Wiglett are too much to swallow. If we want a toy that makes us turn on the lights before we reach for it to be sure we’re grabbing the right thing, we have to be respectful. We have to stop giggling just because Wiglett was the first scout in its troop to earn the badge for pitching tents. We have to remember that these products were made by real people who actually thought, “Seems normal.”
And we have to check our email to make sure that our order is confirmed.
